Why do you love Papa Winchester so much?
I’ve been asked this before. I guess people have come to know that I adore him, since I tag nearly every picture/gif of him with: PAPA COME BACK.
I know this is an issue that the Fandom is kinda split on, but this is how I see John.
Mary is dead. The mother of his children, their caretaker, their center… gone. No, Mary was taken. She was stolen by some awful, evil thing that came into their home in the middle of the night and ripped away the best thing that happened to John (outside the birth of his children).
What is he supposed to do?
But wouldn’t that be like inviting this thing back into their homes?
You took Mary.
Here, take Sam and Dean, too.
How can John know what that yellow-eyed demon wanted? What his plans were? All he knows is that something attacked his family viciously and without warning.
Everything becomes a threat. Every dark corner, every stranger. Nothing is what it seems. Nothing can ever be the same again.
So he hunts. He immerses himself in this world and he learns how to fight back. And more than that, he teaches his sons how to do it. He teaches Sam and Dean how to fight, too, so nothing can ever take them from him the way Mary was.
They can’t stop everything, but they can be prepared.
And no, he wasn’t the best father.
He treated them like soldiers instead of sons. He tried to drown his pain in alcohol one too many nights. He laid the weight of his twisted, mixed-up world on Dean’s shoulders.
But no one can convince me that he didn’t love Sam and Dean. That he wouldn’t have done anything he could to protect them.
He did the best he could.
John was a mechanic, a former Marine. A man’s man. Mary was probably the one thing in the world that broke through his exterior and let the light shine through. She was his smile, his softness. When he lost her, he lost a big part of himself. So he carried on the only way he knew how.
John was human. He was hurt and scared and he had two little boys looking up at him, depending on him to make their world right again after everthing got turned upside down.
And he tried.
In the end, Sam and Dean forgave him for his faults. They loved him in spite of himself, because he was their father. That doesn’t mean that what he did was right or the best thing for Sam and Dean. It doesn’t wipe John’s slate clean. John probably knew that more than anyone. The guilt of the sacrifices he’d made, the sacrifices he’d forced Sam and Dean to make? Yeah. I think he lived with all of that.
But they chose to see the best in him as often as they could.
So do I.